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Civ IV Relapse Videogames

I Relapsed.

Confession Time

Yesterday I played a videogame.

(hold for shock…)

I was celebrating finishing a massive project at work and I reconnected with some good friends of mine.

Everyone’s been feeling cooped up at home so to stave off the boredom and reconnect, we decided to launch “the big game”.

Our drug of choice: Civilization IV.

Released in 2005 this ancient turn-based strategy game where you start with a tiny village and grow to a massive empire game has become a cult classic in the circles I run in.

Why I’m Telling You This

See I’ve got a lot of shame right now because it’s become part of my new identity that “I don’t play videogames” and “that was the old me”, so to admit that I did, makes me feel that I’m either bad at my word or a liar (I am good at being hard on myself, have you noticed?).

So why tell you? Why not just hide the truth?

Partly for my own accountability. To keep me accountable to what I say, and to not hide the truth even when it hurts.

“You Should Take More Time To Have Fun”

But more than keeping myself accountable, I want to talk about this line I keep hearing a lot recently “you should take more time to have fun”, or “relax a bit!” or “take some time off!”.

People have started noticing I work a lot, and have with good intentions, started telling me I should take more time off and just relax a bit.

Cool, so I did that. And today I feel like garbage.

I stayed up a big late (all the way to 10:30…easy there grandpa, don’t break a hip), and I had a beer (stop the f***ing presses he had ONE beer folks!), and I spent almost an entire saturday play (of course completing the imporant last minute work stuff to make sure my client was all set and taken care of).

I now I feel kinda worse about myself, not better.

I’m further behind on work, further behind on sleep, feel groggy, feel confused, and not exactly “loving life”.

So was it a win?

I mean, I guess it helped my write this post which is EXCESSIVELY over 100 words now, so I’ll take the wins where I can.

 

Love

-Arthur

 

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