“You can’t fathom my love dude, lock yourself in a room doing 5 beats a day for 3 summers, that’s a different world, like 3 summers, I deserve to do these numbers” – Kanye West, Spaceship
1. What Is Purpose Coaching?
Purpose coaching is designed to help people find their way in life. We’ve all had the experience of feeling lost and confused, not quite sure why we’re here or what we’re meant to do.
We see people all the time on our instagram feeds that seem to have these picture perfect lives, and we think to ourselves “they look so happy and they’ve figured it out, why can’t I?!”. We beat ourselves up for not having found our “purpose” yet.
Purpose coaching is meant to help you on your way to finding your purpose and deeper meaning in life. But a word of warning, before you shell out for an expensive course or hire a coach, I’d like to share with you some thoughts you can use to uncover your purpose, and all you need is a pencil and pad of paper. Sound good? Let’s get into it.
This video by Mischaela Richter documents a real live coaching session, and gives you a behind-the-scenes view into a real coaching session.
2. Stop Making Your Life Purpose Such A Big Deal
“Wait what – but that’s why I came here!” I hear you ask, bear with me a moment and I’ll explain. There seems to be an epidemic at the moment of YouTube videos and influencers and TED Talks about the importance of finding your purpose. Everywhere you look people are extolling the virtues of having a clear purpose in life.
And don’t get me wrong, having clarity and direction in life is important. But it isn’t the “be all and end all”. Keep in mind that many coaches want you to feel insecure about yourself so they can justify selling expensive courses and solutions. I’m not saying those courses are useless, but before you buy anything, ask yourself who wants it more – if the coach is more concerned about you finding your purpose than you are, that’s a red flag.
This video by Joshua Freedman, explains how we need to stop “chasing” purpose, and allow it just to come to us.
So what do I recommend? Keep it simple, stop stressing endlessly about this question. Yes keep the question in the back of your mind, but focus on the experience of being alive, and allow little signals from the universe to guide you.
It’s like that expression “a watched pot never boils” – if you stress the universe out with constant demands to show you a purpose, the universe is just going to ignore you. Be open to receiving without pushing.
This TEDx Talk by Ashley Stahl documents her harrowing journey to uncovering a life purpose with meaning.
3. Are You Living Your Life With Purpose?
To get the ball rolling here are 13 questions to ask yourself to understand if you’re living true to your purpose or not:
- If you could start your entire life over starting today, would you still be doing what you’re doing right now?
- Do you have a personal mission, that gets you excited and out of bed every morning?
- What do you love to do while you procrastinate?
- If you had a million dollars in the bank, and money was no longer an issue, what would you do?
- What puzzle is your subconscious mind constantly trying to solve?
- What brings you intense joy?
- What things are you naturally talented at? (even if they don’t make money)
- What gets you into a state of flow – where you can work for hours and lose track of time?
- Where do you go when you feel lost? The forest, mountains, art gallery, bed, Netflix?
- What do you wish was different about the world?
- What childhood trauma still feels unresolved and eats at you?
- Is there a message you wish you could share with the world, but perhaps feel too afraid?
- If you died tomorrow, what would you regret not doing today?
This TEDx Talk by Adam Leipzig with over 16 MILLION views, outlines his process for uncovering your life’s purpose in 5 minutes. Sound too good to be true? Check it out:
4. Should You Hire A Purpose Coach?
“When in doubt, hire a professional” is an old saying that should be taken with a grain of salt here. Is there a time and a place to hire a professional purpose coach? I’m sure there is. But do you need to right now? Likely not.
I’d be willing to bet significant sums of money that you haven’t spent enough time yet by yourself, reflecting and asking yourself the difficult questions. Seriously, this takes time and you can’t rush it. Here’s some ideas to start with:
5. 13 Activities To Unlock Your Purpose
Before you hire a purpose coach, here are 13 activities you can do today to unlock your mind, and let the answers start coming to you:
- Go for long walks in nature
- Journal daily
- Write out a lengthy list (25+ items) of all the things you enjoy doing
- Take a long bath
- Sleep well (8+ hours per night)
- Stay hydrated
- Do brainstorming exercises
- Start a blog
- Join a new club (Toastmasters, improv, dance class, BNI/Chamber of Commerce)
- Read new books
- Clear space and donate your unused stuff to Goodwill.
6. How Much Does Purpose Coaching Cost?
Honestly some purpose coaching can cost thousands of dollars. I don’t mean to speak negatively of other people’s work, I’m sure it’s very well done and they put their heart and soul into it. But let’s be honest, do you really need to spend thousands of dollars to get started? No, pull out a pencil and pad of paper, and let your mind speak its truth.
7. How Long Does Purpose Coaching Take?
How long does it take to find your purpose? How many stars are in the sky? How many droplets are there in the ocean? The truth is finding your purpose is more of a journey than a destination. You never really uncover “it”, but more like an onion, through your life you keep uncovering new layers.
The best advice is just to keep going, and to trust the answers will come to you in time.
8. Should Your Purpose Coach Be Certified?
There’s much talk about certification, but is it necessary? Again, my advice is to start doing the work on your own, but if you’re at a point where you’re ready to hire someone, how important is it for a purpose coach to be certified?
In this video by Courtney L Saunders, she lays out how to become a successful Purpose Coach without being certified.
My recommendation is to follow your gut. A certification can be an indicator of quality, but it’s never a guarantee. Before you go any further, there are some tough questions you need to ask:
9. 5 Questions To Ask Before Hiring A Purpose Coach
I recommend researching the potential purpose coaches you’re thinking of hiring, and ask yourself these 5 questions:
- Do they seem authentic?
- Do they seem like they really know what they’re talking about?
- Do they offer free content that shows me their quality?
- Is their social media focused on them and how great they are, or is it about their clients and their success?
- Do they seem like the kind of person you could enjoy a leisurely coffee with, or does it just feel like a high pressure sales pitch?
10. What Does A Purpose Coach Do?
A purpose coach will guide you on a 1-to-1 coaching session to help you uncover your purpose. This is a deeply personal process, and their job is to investigate into your past to help you uncover clues for your future.
What were you like as a kid? What did you enjoy doing? What brought you happiness? What challenges or trauma did you experience? It is a deeply personal journey to go back and explore your childhood, but of the seeds of our purpose in life were planted when we were kids, even if we were completely unaware of it.
As kids, we had no filters, and we spent our time doing exactly what it was that we wanted to do. Whatever we were drawn to, we did, without questioning it or wondering whether “it was the right thing to do”. We were pure impulse. And as you dig into your childhood, flashes of your life’s purpose may start appearing to you.
11. Who Is A Life Purpose Coach For?
A life purpose coach is meant to help you on your way in uncovering your deeper life’s purpose. So who is a life purpose coach for? The short answer: everyone. The longer answer: for anyone who is struggling to find their purpose.
Do you wake up everyday, feeling lost and unmotivated? Have you lost your enthusiasm for life and adventure? Do you just “get by”? I don’t think you need me to tell you this, but these are signs of a loss of purpose.
Do you need to hire a coach to solve this problem? I believe you can do it yourself. That you can find the materials, and the exercises and the time to uncover this for yourself. Sure, a coach can guide you, but ultimately it is up to you to uncover your truth.
I have worked with many coaches in the past, and regularly I felt a pressure to “decide” what my purpose was. Often, I would just try to force it, and choose something that felt right in that moment.
However, the months and years would roll by, and slowly it would dawn on me that actually, I wasn’t really interested in that thing that I’d so boldly declared as my purpose. This is why the process can’t be rushed, and I recommend making the journey a solo pursuit.
12. What Results Can A Purpose Coach Deliver?
If a life purpose coach knows what they’re doing, they can help you to uncover your deeper meaning and purpose in life. They can guide you through a series of exercises and experiments, and push you beyond your comfort zone, opening you up to new possibilities and ways of thinking.
A good coach will be more concerned about your success than about their bank account. A good coach will put in their blood, sweat and tears to help you get to where you’re trying to get to.
13. Is A Purpose Coach And A Life Coach The Same Thing?
While a purpose coach and a life coach are similar in some respects, they have some unique difference. A life coach is more focused on helping you in your overall life, beyond just finding purpose, they can guide you on health, nutrition, grooming, dating, public speaking, confidence, socializing, networking, and building your business.
The purpose coach is laser focused – they have only one purpose: to help you find your purpose. By laser focusing they’re more able to specialize and become experts in that specific field.
14. What Is The Purpose Of A Coaching Session?
The purpose of a coaching session is to take you deep. The coach provides you with a container where you can feel safe and secure, and to relax fully. We’ve all had the experience of being led before, and it’s an enjoyable experience when we know that the other person is looking out for us and taking care of us, with our best interests at heart.
During a purpose coaching session, you are finally free to express yourself, to express every part of yourself, and to release the shackles that were previously holding you back.
15. Why Is A Purpose Coach Important?
The purpose coach is an important bulwark against the storm. Finding your life’s purpose is no walk in the park or piece of cake. It’s a deeply personal, and at times frightening experience, as suddenly, not only are you tasked with uncovering what you want to do with your life, but then also answering the question of “why you haven’t done it yet”.
If your life’s purpose is to be a famous actress, but you’re terrified of getting behind the camera, there is obviously some resistance in the way. Uncovering your purpose is simply the first step, the next challenge is to implement and overcome your own resistance, which requires some deep inner reflection on why you resist in the first place.
What is it really that you’re afraid of? Having a purpose coach can help safely guide you through that process, helping to heal the wounds of the passed, instead of causing new trauma.
16. What Is The Focus Of Coaching?
The focus of coaching is on uncovering your true potential. This could include many exercise, games, brainstorming sessions, walking, shouting, laughing. By changing up your physiology by moving around, and changing your psychology by filling it with new ideas, you open your mind and expand your opportunities to learn.
“If You Always Do What You’ve Always Done, You’ll Always Get What You’ve Always Got.” ~ Henry Ford –
17. Passion And Purpose Coach
The passion and purpose coach is meant to help you find your way. To help you find that inner calling, that inner desire, that inner fire, and to let it out. If we’re being truthful, we all feel that burning energy inside of us, yet many of us ignore or drown it out.
Drugs, partying, alcohol, are all avoidance behaviours to help us numb out that fire. We feel resistance. Facing our higher purpose in life feels scary, because what if we fail? What if we embarrass ourselves? What if it doesn’t work? The passion and purpose coach is your mentor to guide you through the process. There are many pitfalls and challenges along the way, and an experienced guide can help show you the way.
Here is a video by Alex Durand of the Khan Academy explaining what it means to be a purpose and change coach, and how he works to help clients in their life transitions.
18. Soul Purpose Coach
The soul purpose coach is aimed at getting deeper into your soul. Of finding the answer to your soul’s desire. We all have energy inside us which push us in different, often confusing or conflicting directions.
The job of the soul purpose coach is to help you tap into that stream of energy, to wade through the marsh and help you make sense of it all. The soul purpose coach helps guide your soul towards truth.
19. Finding Your Puzzle To Solve
Lastly, I’ll leave you with this, finding your purpose isn’t so much about suddenly being struck by lightning and declaring “this is my purpose!”, but more of a process of unravelling.
The question I’ll leave you with in uncovering your purpose is “what is your puzzle to solve?”. We all have a puzzle deep inside that our minds are trying to untangle and make sense of. Tap into that puzzle you keep returning to, and ask yourself if there’s room to go deeper, to tap in full time. So, I’ll ask it again – “what is your puzzle to solve?”.
Bonus: Additional Resources – Books To Find Your Purpose
For further study, here are 5 books I recommend in helping to define and articulate your life’s purpose. These aren’t “happy” books giving easy answers. Most will challenge you to look deeply inside yourself and ask the difficult questions. Only once you’ve faced your own demons, are you able to move forward in life.
Larry Winget’s You’re Broke Because You Want To Be,
Jim Rohn’s The Art Of Exceptional Living,
James Clear’s Atomic Habits,
Napoleon Hill’s Think And Grow Rich,
Robert Greene’s Mastery,
Bonus: David Deida’s Way Of The Superior Man
Enjoy the journey,